Cracking the Surface
by anjecyte
Summary: While all her friends seem to have settled down, Toph's having some doubts about herself. A story about friendship, love, family, motherhood, and how all those things came to be in Toph's life. Post-A:TLA/Pre-TLOK; Toph x OC
1. Almost 22: The Prologue

**Title:** Cracking the Surface

**Author:** evacyte

**Rating:** T

**Summary:** In a prologue of sorts, Toph needs to vent to an old friend.

**Disclaimer:** Sadly, I am neither "Bry" nor the "-ke" in the insanely awesome Bryke duo: they're the ones who own A:TLA and LOK.

"Ah, yes… the famous sunset," Iroh grunted as he sat down next to his old friend. Two liquid amber eyes flickered over to the horizon, a giant orange orb melting into the city skyline of a quiet, peaceful Ba Sing Se. _A beautiful sight_, the elderly man thought to himself. _Tranquil. Refreshing, even._ He suspected his young guest would have agreed with such an observation if he voiced it aloud. You know… if his young guest could even _see _the sunset.

"I did not take you as a sentimentalist, Toph," Iroh continued, sipping his ginseng tea slowly, savoring the scent, the flavor, the steam. "I pegged you to be more of a realist," he continued, nodding with his eyes closed. "So clearly does the spirit of an earthbender course through your blood." He coughed sarcastically, if a cough could be such. "So you are watching this sunset… because?"

Iroh's eyes opened carefully, one eye slowly and conspicuously examining the young woman sitting next to him. Between their sparse meetings, Toph had indeed matured ("Though, not enough of her spirit!" Iroh would argue). Her face had lost the baby fat, leaving her rounder cheeks behind and evolving into a tighter, more angular jaw; her childish frame became that of a young woman's, lithe and lean. (Once, she had grown so tall, that Iroh hadn't even recognized her at their next meeting). Even the maturity of the adult world had settled into Toph's age subtly. While still vibrant in her youth, there was something lacking about her disposition, and that emptiness had nestled into soft creases under her pale-green irises. Toph, her body slumped over sloppily and her hand perched against her cheek for support, lazily looked at the old man and yawned. But despite her growing, at least Toph's attitude hadn't changed; it was something that Iroh had grown to affectionately care for, despite his reservations about her stubbornly head-on attitude.

"Iunno," she slurred together grumpily, pouting again towards the direction of the sunset. "And you know I'm not watching it, old man," she wrinkled her nose at Iroh's joke. "I just… I dunno. Thought that just… maybe, being here? Like… feeling it? Feeling the sunset? I thought I could… meditate… or think… or something," she mumbled into the hand supporting the weight of her head.

Iroh raised an eyebrow. "You traveled all the way to my tea shop… to meditate."

Toph didn't flinch. "Yeah, I guess," she muttered.

"But you hate the city!" Iroh said, waving his arms around to the scenery below their table from the balcony. Toph didn't comment, and left him with an unnatural silence. The old man sighed inwardly and nodded a bit. "Okay. _Okay._ What… is on your mind, Toph?" Iroh smiled.

She sighed. "Nothing in particular."

"So you came to meditate for the sake of meditation?" Iroh's face fell sarcastically.

"I—" Toph glowered at the old man, faltering mid-sentence. "I… just… I want to talk to an old friend." She smiled sadly, pushing her elbows onto the table. Playing with the steam that billowed from her cup of jasmine, Toph said, "I… I just feel weird. And confused. And sad… and… I don't know _why_, you know?" She continued to look down at the tea, pausing to take a sip. "Your tea's still the best, by the way," she muttered, grinning at Iroh.

"A good cup of tea can clear the mind," Iroh nodded, smiling. "There is something in its warmth and its scent. Being filled with warmth is comforting in itself, and a flavor sharp enough can bring concentration to even the most muddled of minds." But Iroh laughed suddenly as Toph took another sip and said, "But really, sometimes your favorite tea can just make you feel good!"

Toph smiled at her friend and "looked" back towards the sunset. After a relapse into an awkward silence, Iroh tried again. "So… thoughts… of things?" he said, puzzled.

Toph nodded, more to herself than to the old man. "Right," she breathed, turning to face him. "Right." Taking the last swig of her tea, she licked her lips, and said seriously, "How old am I, Iroh?"

Iroh blinked, taken aback. "If I'm not mistaken, you should be 21, Toph."

"I'm almost 22," she said. "I'm basically 22, wouldn't you agree?" she said, squinting at him.

"Basically," Iroh said monotonously, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "Except you're still 21."

Ignoring him, Toph continued. "What do you think Katara is doing right now?"

Iroh gave her a bored look. "What—"

"I'm serious," Toph drew out slowly. "So take me seriously. What is Katara doing right now?"

"…drinking jasmine?" Iroh tried to offer.

"No, Iroh," the young woman sighed. "Katara is married, so she's doing _married_ women things right now, like… stuff. And Aang," she coughed as she said his name, and threw up her hands at the realization of who she was_ really_ talking about, "excuse me, _Twinkletoes_—who is _my_ age, by the way—is a _married_ man. To _her. To Katara. They. Are. Married_," Toph emphasized, her face super animated and extremely flustered.

Iroh raised an eyebrow. "I was at the wedding, Toph."

She slumped down in her seat. "Well, yeah—"

Iroh closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, deciding that—with Toph's attitude—it may just be best to softly antagonize her for her to be truthful. Taking a shot in the dark at what might annoy Toph, Iroh said, "So… are you saying… that you're jealous of Katara?"

"Yes! That is totally it," Toph beamed, hitting the table quickly with the slap of a hand. She visibly relaxed, apparently satisfied with Iroh's interjection. Flustered, she held her empty cup out sheepishly, and dazed, Iroh filled her cup with jasmine, an even more puzzled look set upon his face.

"…You're jealous of Katara," Iroh repeated, trying not to sound as dumbfounded as he looked.

Toph grinned wider at the repetition of Iroh's apparent epiphany and sighed gratefully. "You know, I'm glad I have a friend like you," Toph said as she blew on her tea. "It helps that you just… _get it_."

"…right," Iroh mumbled, stroking his beard. Though he had failed the first time, he knew there was no way the next shot at her could leave her amiable. Serious suddenly, Iroh looked to Toph. "You're jealous… because… you have feelings for Aang?"

Toph looked at him, unamused. "Ha. Ha. Good one," she said, scoffing.

Iroh sighed. "Toph, while I see that I have correctly deducted that you're jealous of Katara… I cannot seem to see any reasons of _why_." _Any girl could easily be jealous of the waterbender_, Iroh thought. But those reasons were petty and superficial, and Toph, the_ famous_ (or infamous, in some cases) Toph Beifong of the End of the Hundred Year War… did not match those reasons.

Toph blushed, drawing her lips into a tight line. "It's because… Because… you know what she told me?" she whispered to her friend. "That she was _happily married_. We were talking while the two of them were visiting Republic City. It was right after their honeymoon, and me and Katara were alone, just taking a walk… but Katara kept talking about _them_. Them as a couple, as… one entity," Toph breathed out in a large whoosh. "She kept talking about how officially _bound _they were," Toph said, as her voice accelerated in her adrenalized embarrassment, "and that Aang was hers forever and she was his, and I could sense that Katara would touch her choker when she would talk about Aang, and Katara's voice had this weird, breathy quality, and the next thing she said…" pausing dramatically, "was terrifying," Toph shuddered at the thought.

Iroh looked unamused. "…and that was?"

"…They've been married a few months, and you know what they're doing already?"

Iroh made a look that Toph couldn't see, something between disgust and surprise and fear.

"_Family planning_," Toph whispered up to Iroh from behind a hand, as she hunched down and brought her face closer to the table.

"…I see," Iroh sputtered, wincing. Knowing the private ordeals of the Avatar was not going to end well for him, nope, not at all.

"They're happy, Iroh," Toph said softly from her crouched position. "They're already making these huge plans… Twinkletoes wants to live in an Air Temple—_an_ _Air Temple—_but do you know which one?" Toph's fists pounded their table lightly. "None of them! They're going to _build_ one in _my city, _and they will be _married _and they will… be there," she paused. "So close to me… Like some annoying reminder of reality…" Toph drifted off, taking a long swig from her jasmine tea.

Iroh raised an eyebrow. "A reminder? A reminder of what?"

Toph groaned, drawing her head back and slumping against the back of her chair. "Iroh… I'm Aang's age, you know? And he has this wonderful marriage, and this fantastic future, and they're already thinking of kids… and I'm… I'm just thinking about my _career_," Toph wrung her hands. "In a year, I'm probably going to be the Chief of Police of Republic City, which is awesome and an honor," Toph raised her hands in surrender as she realized Iroh would counter-argue, "but Aang's… the _Avatar_! I mean… he has duties to perform for the whole world, not just a city! But he still found time to… love, you know?" Toph winced. "And… he's going to make a home… And him and Katara are going to have a new family…" she drifted off.

And suddenly, everything made sense. Iroh smiled at his friend. "You are still in that equation, Toph. You were on that ride with them. You were there in the darkest of times, a part of that family—"

"A little too late, though, Iroh!" Toph cried. She was wringing her hands violently now, her arms swinging around. "It's… It's not that I'm saying I would've been involved somehow in some lovefest of some sort had I joined earlier—"

"But you were. You lot are an incredibly close group of young—"

"I mean _romantically_, Iroh," Toph hissed, embarrassed at her use of the word. "Like… Aang and Katara… oh, get real," her hand swatted the air, "I knew that was happening before they even realized it. But even birdbrained Sokka had a lover from a previous journey! Then he had Suki! And Zuko ended up having someone back home… And… these people were all I had, you know?" Toph sighed. "They were it. They were it, and I was happy to have them, to have _friends_, to have company, to understand what actually having a family _was_—but… but, they all fell in _love_, Iroh," Toph laughed. It rung loudly, echoing against the tiles of the Jasmine Dragon's balcony. "They fell in love," she said sadly. "And… all with each other or with great friends… And I get it, Iroh. I'm not blind," Toph grinned at her own joke. "They found the best thing to get in the worst circumstances… and… under conditions like that, why wouldn't it survive? If anything, that kind of love lasts," she smiled.

Iroh looked at his friend sadly. "But now…?"

"Now… I don't know," the smile faded from her lips. "I'm happy. I love them. I'm thankful… Without them, I probably would still be the hidden little girl on the Beifong estate—"

"Without you," Iroh said firmly, "they wouldn't have ended the Great War. The Avatar would not have learned earthbending in the way that he needed to. Ba Sing Se would not have realized their corrupt government; your little group of friends wouldn't have learned to detect sarcasm…" Iroh grinned.

Toph smiled, running her index finger against the rim of her tea cup. Ceramic. Earthenware. Gently, she beat her fist against the table, and the cup morphed into an ornate goblet. She smiled softly. "Metalbending wouldn't exist."

Iroh's eyes softened. "A lot of good has come out of you, Toph. You can claim that you needed them… but they needed you just as much."

Toph grunted, snorting. "So… don't I… deserve that though? Happiness? With a family of my own…"

As Iroh looked at her, he saw a flash of emotion as she muttered the word "family". What was it? Bitterness? Contempt? _No_, Iroh realized. _It was longing._ He smiled sadly at her. "Of course you do. Everyone does. You, especially," he said confidently, "with all that you have sacrificed, and all that has been taken away from you… of course you do, Toph."

"Do you think it's too late for me though?" Toph asked, her hands gripping her cup of jasmine.

"Despite the bleakness of a long winter, the earth is patient." Iroh stared off into the purple of the sky, as the last of Ba Sing Se's famous sunset had dwindled into a soft orange glow behind the black silhouettes of the city's buildings. "The earth understands that this must happen—this winter—and it is smart enough to wait. It knows that one day, the ice will melted away by warmth, and that spring will emerge again."

Toph coughed. "I'm not that much of an ice queen, Iroh."

"I agree. As that is not what I meant, dear friend. Out of all the people I know, you resemble earth the most," he laughed. His eyes crinkled into a smile. "And like our earth, you can be just as patient. You are young, Toph. 'Almost 22' is not an age where you need to be particularly worried about marriage. Yes, your friends seem to have found the love of their lives," he said sadly, "but just because they managed to find real… _romantic_," Iroh awkwardly flinched as he used the word, "love before they reached 16 doesn't mean you were supposed to as well." He looked into distance, recalling the youth of those said people, as various memories replayed through his mind.

"As much as what is said about destiny, that just happened to be theirs," he said kindly, his daydream ending. "I believe that you are destined for a loving family in which you will be just as happy as your friends. Will it come as soon? No, perhaps not. But you had to wait twelve years before your potential as an Earthbender was recognized," Iroh said. Casting a glance at Toph's horrified expression, Iroh quickly added, "And I don't think you will have to wait another twelve years for love, not at all. But what I am saying is," Iroh said, as he filled her cup with more tea, "you were prodigal. Your potential came during a period where you had sacrificed much of your life to silence and hiding. And the rewards—in just the year after—were plentiful. You may have to wait to find love and family, Toph, but I have a feeling that when you do," Iroh smiled, "it will be a bond in which the world has never known."

Toph held in her laughter, pausing to play with the steam again. "Thank you, Iroh," she smiled.

Iroh shrugged. "But as you wait, do not forget yourself, Toph. Your role now is to be a friend, a teacher, and now—as I am trying to understand it—an actual role of authority?"

"I'm going to be promoted to Chief of Police of Republic City in the spring," she snuck in a smirk.

"That _is _an honor," Iroh nodded, choosing to ignore Toph's smirk, and the glint that had come across her eyes. "But it is also a responsibility. While you may feel… strange, especially with the young Avatar and his new family so near you, you cannot ignore your duties. While I think power is incredibly overrated," he said while rolling his eyes, "I find that actively seeking love or forcing it can make one feel even more empty," he finished, while watching the purples of the sky darken. "Love is a mysterious force. Emotions are unpredictable… But you have made a life, Toph; it would not be right for you to discard it. And—as busy as you seem to be—it may surprise you that such a love may happen at the right time, when you'll need it. Patience is a virtue," Iroh smiled. "Or you could also venture to the Spirit World to ask for some of their wisdom!" he chortled, his body shaking with laughter. "That's what I did when I tried to woo my wife. Beautiful woman. Such a short time with her, and yet… beautiful memories."

Toph smiled sweetly, pausing to blow the steam away from her tea, cooling it down. "She was very lucky, Iroh."

Iroh grinned back. "No… no, I was the lucky one, for sure, my friend."

Toph looked back at the sky, which was no longer filled with orange. The sunset had faded as they had talked, revealing the pleasant night sky of Ba Sing Se. "Hey, Iroh," she muttered, while she "looked" at the stars. "Can you tell me what I'm missing here?" she pointed to the scenery.

Iroh smiled at her, as he took another sip of his ginseng. _Nothing, my friend. You are not as incomplete as you think, _Iroh thought. _You are not. _

**A/N: First off, Iroh was so fun to write. Too fun, actually... Ugh, my desire to be this… old neighborhood advice columnist grandma is way too strong. Anyway, I wrote this because Toph is a bamf, and I have theories and feelings about her development because I'm a fangirl, so I put it in this thing and we'll see how it goes. **

**Haven't written an actual narrative in a while, so don't kill me with flames please. Leave reviews and CC, if possible. Thank you! **


	2. Falling from the Sky

**Title:** Cracking the Surface

**Author:** evacyte

**Rating:** T

**Summary:** Taking Iroh's advice, Toph decides to wait. Now if only other people understood that…

**Disclaimer:** Me no own-y, me no own-y!

* * *

"Toph, darling, I've set up so many dates for you—"

"That is… _disgusting_," I said flatly, crossing my arms in embarrassment. Seriously. Screw this whole situation. _Screw it all._Sighing, I leaned back into my chair, and messaged the bridge of my nose.

It had been a year since the episode with Iroh. My moment of… weakness, for lack of a better word. Now don't get me wrong; I was establishing myself like Iroh said I should. Republic City wanted the first metalbender master as its Chief of Police, and they wanted to covet my beloved metalbending as a "police-only" kind of advantage against any criminal benders. But despite this expanding career in law enforcement, I knew I wanted a life outside of it too.

After the War, my parents finally respected my decision to be what I was. (I mean… after you defeat the Fire Lord, help the Avatar, and gain fame for all that… it's hard to tell the Four Nations you're not proud of your daughter). But still, during my disappearance, they had clung to their wish for me to slip quietly back onto the Beifong estate; that—after my "shenanigans" travelling around the world—I would return to being some hidden away noblewoman, and we could pick up our screwed up family life where we left off.

But my new status as an earthbending and a metalbending prodigy destroyed that path. Even if my parents hated it, they couldn't ignore all of that pressure from the benders of the Earth Kingdom. Yeah, sure, they did let me go to do the things I loved. But I never had… a real blessing. Because even after all my accomplishments—no matter how much I loved what I did or how well I actually did them—my parents were terrified. Terrified of my career, of all of my decisions… of how much they didn't really know me. They loved me above anything else, but at the same time, I never really had their approval. I had their love, but I was also their biggest fear. And because of that, we never really came back together in the way that we all wanted to.

So when Aang and Katara came to what I thought was my city, my_ sole_ domain… That's when it clicked. My friends' lives after the war were moving on, and the distance with my parents hadn't been resolved (at least, to a degree where it was at least normal). I realized I needed something that was mine, and mine alone, and I knew what I wanted. A family. Maybe not all the gooey, Sokka-proclaimed "oogies" like Katara and Aang, but… still, a family of my own. A new one.

So I had sought out Iroh because… honestly, you can't get any wiser than that geezer, and I needed his advice. Even if I'm scared that I won't get it… I can't help feeling like he's right somehow. Maybe it's just because Iroh's… well, _Iroh_, but… his words wereso comforting. So I took it. No active searching. I was going to wait for the right time, the right people. I was going to let fate hit me in the face.

And damn, it's not like I _had _the time to wait and seek out making a family, anyway. I had enough on my shoulders: grueling training, earning the trust of an inexplicably stoic police force, gaining rank under a confidential, explicit government order as to "officially" bring in the new reign of metalbending cops… Oh, yeah. And Aang and Katara were living with me.

While their air temple-island-home-thing was in the works, they ended up staying with me due to half-Council pressure and half-part obligatory friend duty, living in an extension of a mini-version of the Beifong estate. (After a long fight about me living on my own in an infant city with rampant gangs… well, I won the argument that I'd actually do it. My parents won the argument of what kind of living conditions I'd have). So, because of the three of us living under one roof… me taking a sudden vacation to visit Iroh in Ba Sing Se was incredibly noticeable, even if I only took a two day trip. When I got back to Republic City, Katara immediately questioned me, and… well, I told her all of it. I didn't think there'd be any harm with telling her all of my business for once. I thought that—if I shared such an intimate thing—she'd lay off. That she'd "see me in a new light" or something.

But I forgot I was talking about _Katara_. As hopelessly romantic and as motherly as she is, she (on her own, mind you) decided to take it upon herself to "suggest" some of the decent guys of Republic City to me. Which is great and all, but… she kinda sucked at subtlety. Girl couldn't lie through her teeth.

And one embarrassing mix-up later... well, my parents found out about the failure of Katara's matchmaking skills. (Fame like ours comes at a damn heavy price, let me tell you). And when word spread that the infamously tough Toph Beifong got caught in a less-scandalous-more-awkward failed set-up date with a Fire Nation noble… well, my _real mother_ caught the matchmaking bug. Which was all fine and dandy, except for the fact that my parents suddenly started gaining interest in my personal life again. Which… is not a place I like them to be.

And that's where we are now. My mother—learning that I had a friend who could serve her interests—decided to entrust dictating my personal life to Katara. Being the culprit of it all, Katara agreed to it: as she promised, her duty was to sincerely read me all of the newest correspondence coming from my mother in Gaoling, and try to persuade me to date the nobles my mother wanted me to. My mother. Sifting through dates for me. My _mother_. Who was—no—not letting me wait for love like I wanted to. Instead, she was trying to cram as many unnecessary suitors as possible into my face. Not the kind of fate I had in mind.

From across the kitchen table where we were sitting, I heard a light sigh come from Katara. "I… can agree… that… this time is a bit much, but—"

"Of course it's a bit much. We're talking about _my parents_," I rolled my eyes. "Oh, you have a blind kid? You should lock her up! Oh, your blind kid can actually handle herself? You should still lock her up!" I said, as my voice strained to reach a high-pitched mocking sing-song tone. "Oh," I growled frustratingly as I remembered, "your blind kid seems to be the only single one out of her friends? Oh, you're actually pretty rich? Just put her on blind dates with men with sticks for brains!"

I looked across the table to where I knew Katara was sitting. "I know my parents are nuts," I shrugged. "It's actually almost-but-not-really adorable," I said sarcastically. "But," I said, my anger bubbling again, "I wish they'd leave me out of their bull-antelope shit."

"Toph!" I heard her gasp.

I dismissed her with a wave of her hand. "So I picked up some language hanging out with my men at Police Headquarters, big whoop."

Katara sighed. "I mean… I understand where your mother is coming from. Perhaps dating would be—"

"No," I said angrily, quickly slamming a fist on the table with a bang. "Not actively seeking. Iroh's orders."

"I'm not saying that you need to go on blind dates," Katara said sarcastically, "but… Toph—especially since you're being serious about it—love isn't going to... fall out of the sky!" she whispered hoarsely, embarrassed.

"Riiiiiight," I drawled out, fuming a bit. While she was being rather realistic about it, I couldn't help but be peeved. We had discussed my life choices too many times for my blood pressure to remain at bay. A whopping four times.

"Look, Katara," I shrugged. "I'm just following Iroh's orders. And can you _really say_," I said sarcastically, "that you can't trust Iroh?"

Softly, I heard Katara shift, until I heard her mutter, "Okay… but you know, Aang agrees with me…"

Upon hearing Twinkletoes' name, my mouth curving into an evil smirk. "Now both of you are just being hypocritical," I said darkly. "Didn't Aang—the man you fall in love with—just, I don't know, basically bob out of the ocean?" I said, my grin and my confidence growing wider. "In an iceberg that was frozen for a hundred years, no less. Something that you just _happened _to stumble across…"

And there it was. Silence. My favorite response of Katara's. After a few moments, I heard her stutter, "That… Well… I mean…"

"Yeah, I thought so," I said, smirking even wider as I stood up. "Knew you'd agree after that example. So, I'm gonna wait. If Twinkletoes met you in an iceberg that you only found because you were shouting at Sokka, I can wait for destined love too, or whatever. And. So. Will. You."

"Toph… Spirits, hearing you say 'destined love'… really… I just…"

I slammed my hands on the table between us, giving her what I thought was my best pointedly obvious "shut up now" look. Katara, fidgeting, sighed again. "It's just…" she began before drifting off. After a few moments of silence, I heard her snort, and then she started giggling. "Toph, it's just—"

"Waaaaahhh…."

Katara's head snapped up and I automatically tensed. That noise…

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH HHHHHHHH!"

"Ah, dammit," I muttered. Immediately at the cry, Katara rushed out of the room. To be honest, I didn't particularly want to attend to a crying baby, but…

"TOPH!" I heard Katara scream my name.

"Fine, I'm coming!" I yelled back.

My parents had tried their best to make my home in Republic City as identical as possible to my childhood home. And while Katara and Aang had been living here for a while, it was difficult for most people to adjust to the intricacy and extreme detail of the Beifong Estate in such a short amount of time. People were bound to get lost, and Katara was no exception. Walking out of the dining room, I jumped and slammed my feet against the coolness of the stone hallway, and almost immediately, I found Katara in an intersected corridor. Catching up to her, I asked her, "You took circles again with this thing, didn't you?"

When I was met with a tense silence, I sighed. "Take a left from here. Take another left, and you'll pass a corner window, and turn right immediately into that corridor. That's where her nursery is." While Katara ran away, I calmly walked after her, making sure she took the right directions. Do you guys remember the family planning I mentioned before? Well… it wasn't really planning, I guess you could say. When Katara and I had talked about her building a family with Aang, I thought she was just musing about how excited she was at just the _possibility _of being a mother. I had no idea that, at that point… she was excited because it was an actual reality for her.

"Oh, Toph…" Katara said breathlessly as I walked into Kya's nursery. "I thought for sure something bad happened to her," she said, juggling the young baby.

Yup, that's right. I had two married lovebirds and their five-month-old offspring in my house. Whoop-da-freaking-doo.

Katara, now consumed with calming down her daughter, looked around her anxiously. "Toph… do you mind?" I heard her plead. I laughed, rolling my eyes for her sake. Walking over to a corner of Kya's nursery, I bent down and put my hands through the marble, mixing the stone with my hands. Concentrating on keeping the limestone a thick liquefied consistency, I brought my arms up quickly, molding the earth into a rocking chair before I made it solidify into stone again. Shooting Katara a smile, I asked, "How'd I do?"

As Katara moved towards me, I spun out of her way. "There's no one I trust more when it comes to creating furniture," she replied, laughing. Sitting down in the chair I created, she rocked the crying baby back and forth, shushing her. Immediately, Katara's presence as a mother overpowered the room, so I sat down on the marble, bringing my knees to my chest, and silently observed. The air—heavy and thick and lethargic—was silent: Kya had stopped crying, as Katara had begun her muttering and whispering to the child. All of our heartbeats were slowing down, matching in time with the chair's rhythm of earth rubbing against stone.

When I first took them in, all of Kya's crying really set me on edge. My house isn't as big as the Beifong Estate, so I could still hear her cry at night even from my room. Her heartbeat was always amazingly fast; her cries really shill. But what always amazed me was Katara. Within seconds, Kya's heartbeat would slow dramatically. I could literally feel the calm that Katara basically magicked over her child, and within minutes, I was usually back to sleep myself. It was freaky, I admit. But it was also relaxing, and both fascinating and terrifying all at once…

"Do you want to hold her?" Katara's voice called to me.

Having spaced out, it took a few seconds for my brain to realize what she had said. And when my brain figured it out, I straightened up with a start, scrambling to sit in a much straighter position. "What did you just say?" I said coarsely, snapped out of the magic act.

I could almost feel Katara smile. "I asked if you wanted to hold her, Toph."

"…are you joking?" I said hoarsely, my voice edging towards sarcasm. While I myself rather enjoyed studying the magic calm of mommy's powers, no way was I going to rock and hold Katara's baby.

Katara smiled, shushing me. "You were just staring really intensely in Kya's direction. I thought that… maybe…"

Katara's voice softened to a hoarse whisper, and we let it fade into the air. Normally, with such poor choice of wording, I would make a joke about my blindness. But I didn't. It didn't feel right. There was Katara—the mother of all ages—giving me permission to hold her child. And she was so small, so tiny; this gentle heartbeat and soft breathing in this tiny being, so vulnerable and easily breakable… and to be honest, I was afraid to hold her, afraid to touch something I couldn't see, to protect something with my touch. But even so, more than my fears, my curiosity won me over. Despite how freaked out it made me, the feeling of holding Kya… I wanted that much more badly. "Can I?" I said, whispering.

Silently, Katara stood up to where I sat. I felt her kneel, her head above mine. One hand brushed my hands into position, and carefully, weight was added to my arms.

"Well… you're a natural," Katara said quietly, moving away. "I guess that's good, considering you want children of your own."

"Yeah," I said immediately, forgetting where I was. Realizing I admitted my maternal instincts in front of Katara, I straightened up a bit, still careful of the baby in my arms.

"You know, Toph, you keep saying _family_," Katara prodded softly. I heard her shift, choosing to sit down next to us, back against the wall. Confused, I stared back at her blankly, unaffected. Firmly, she continued, "It's just that… If you just wanted love, you'd say you wanted love. You'd say 'I want a happy marriage!' or 'I think a happy life with someone would be great!'… but family… are kids the only reason you want one?" Katara said carefully.

Feeling the heat rise to my face, I swallowed and said calmly, "Not… totally." Usually, I wouldn't tell Katara (I hadn't forgotten that Fire Nation noble), but… the calm in the room and quiet of her voice and the small, tiny, vulnerable human laying in my arms… made this conversation feel at lot more different from just thirty minutes ago, when we were still at the kitchen table. "You know… I don't get love," I said softly. "I know what love feels like though," I grinned at her, realizing her lungs had filled up just so that she could protest.

"I loved us," I said jokingly, grinning widely, praying that the conversation could stay this light. "Us as friends. You know, us kicking asssssss—oh spirits, I'm _sorry_, Katara! …butt. _Butt_, that's what I meant, Kya… and… well, us and the travelling and the fun and pranks. I really loved every minute of that," I grinned at the recollection, ignoring Katara's tensely crossed arms at my use of language. "But… I don't get the oogie love," I whispered frustratingly. "I get it in theory… but maybe because I haven't found it in someone? And I don't know if _I'll _even know if I fall in love… if it happens."

"Toph," Katara said, happily, "you'll be able to tell."

"I don't know," I laughed. "It's stupid… but I just want to be happy, with… someone," I muttered. "_Exclusively_," I emphasized, embarrassed. "I see couples daily… and I… I don't know. There's something else there, you know?" Remembering my old friend's words, I started off fondly, "Did you know that Iroh told me I was the one person he thought of when he thought of earth as an element? Maybe… I'm too much like earth, you know?" I said quietly. "Maybe that's why. Maybe I'm just meant to be… me."

"And what does that mean?" Katara snorted.

"What it means to be me?" I laughed. "My entire reputation is on my no-nonsense, fighter attitude," I smirked.

"True," Katara sighed. "But with that attitude also comes a sense of care and loyalty…" Katara drifted off. Feeling her turn away, I could sense her embarrassment, as her heart rate picked up. Neither one of us moved, and in the slow thickness of the air, I felt her words being absorbed by both of us. Katara's heartbeat slowed, and the lethargic pace of the room resumed.

"I do want to raise a child," I said spontaneously, more to the silence than to Katara. "Doesn't matter if my child's a girl or a boy. A bender or a non-bender. I don't care," I said quietly. I breathed deeply, monitoring my own heartbeat so that it wouldn't go out of control. "Just that whatever my child wants to do with his or her life… I'll support it, no matter the cost."

My sentence floated in the air, and the tension of it lingered on my lips. If this moment had been with anyone else, it might have slipped past without notice. But Katara knew me too well. I could tell by the way her heartbeat picked up, the way I knew she had turned away and shut her eyes tight and breathed out a shaky breath to steady herself. I knew by the way she gulped that her throat was getting tighter, and that the reason her eyelids were fluttering was because she blinking back tears: tears I was only familiar with because she had caught the words like these that had floated past other people. Because she had known what I had really meant: I wanted a love in an open, wonderful way… something that my parents' relationship never really had. And… I wanted a child to love. I wanted have a family in the way that mine had never been to me, no matter how hard we had tried.

Still rocking back and forth, I heard Katara's dress rustle as she stood up. "Hey, Toph," she called to me, her voice sounding slightly hollow and distant. "I have to meet the artist designing the Air Temple now."

My head rolled to her general direction, and I smiled softly at her. "I can take care of Kya here, if you want," I said quietly. "I doubt that she'll wake up… she's so calm at the moment." The baby had been peaceful as it slept, and I didn't mind holding her for a bit longer.

"Actually," I felt Katara grinning mischeviously, her voice picking up color, "why don't you come with me? I'm feeling too paranoid to leave you both so… far from the entrance, since that's where Yongjin will be. And for some reason," she said, laughing quietly, "I _really _want to see Aang's face when he sees that _you're _the one holding Kya!"

With that, the heaviness shattered. We let the truth sink into the ground, away from our minds, and I let the feeling of knowing that I was about to make Twinkletoes' skin crawl and he couldn't do anything about it. There were certain perks for being indebted to.

Grinning, I planted my feet on the stone gently and stood up slowly. "Wouldn't miss it for the world," I said to her.

* * *

**(A/N: I am just on a roll for updating it seems! This thing is supposed to be multiple chapters… if you like the direction it's going in, let me know! I'd love to hear from you guys, and I'm kind of hesitant to continue because I'm introducing my own character, so... Yes, no? Encouragement, maybe?**

**Review and CC please~)**


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